Friday, April 9, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
i wanna play too! :)
thirty day thinger...yeah. :)
Day 01 — Your favorite songDay 02 — Your favorite movieDay 03 — Your favorite television programDay 04 — Your favorite bookDay 05 — Your favorite quoteDay 06 — Whatever tickles your fancyDay 07 — A photo that makes you happyDay 08 — A photo that makes you angry/sadDay 09 — A photo you tookDay 10 — A photo of you taken over ten years agoDay 11 — A photo of you taken recentlyDay 12 — Whatever tickles your fancyDay 13 — A fictional bookDay 14 — A non-fictional bookDay 15 — A fanficDay 16 — A song that makes you cry (or nearly)Day 17 — An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)Day 18 — Whatever tickles your fancyDay 19 — A talent of yoursDay 20 — A hobby of yoursDay 21 — A recipeDay 22 — A websiteDay 23 — A YouTube videoDay 24 — Whatever tickles your fancyDay 25 — Your day, in great detailDay 26 — Your week, in great detailDay 27 — This month, in great detailDay 28 — This year, in great detailDay 29 — Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 daysDay 30 — Whatever tickles your fancy
so today is day one? idk...i always have different faves...but some current ones are....
Imma Be, Rude BOy, Watchin airplanes, and why don't we just dance?!
:) <3
blogger...i'm gonna try real hard to love you more! :)
Day 01 — Your favorite songDay 02 — Your favorite movieDay 03 — Your favorite television programDay 04 — Your favorite bookDay 05 — Your favorite quoteDay 06 — Whatever tickles your fancyDay 07 — A photo that makes you happyDay 08 — A photo that makes you angry/sadDay 09 — A photo you tookDay 10 — A photo of you taken over ten years agoDay 11 — A photo of you taken recentlyDay 12 — Whatever tickles your fancyDay 13 — A fictional bookDay 14 — A non-fictional bookDay 15 — A fanficDay 16 — A song that makes you cry (or nearly)Day 17 — An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)Day 18 — Whatever tickles your fancyDay 19 — A talent of yoursDay 20 — A hobby of yoursDay 21 — A recipeDay 22 — A websiteDay 23 — A YouTube videoDay 24 — Whatever tickles your fancyDay 25 — Your day, in great detailDay 26 — Your week, in great detailDay 27 — This month, in great detailDay 28 — This year, in great detailDay 29 — Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 daysDay 30 — Whatever tickles your fancy
so today is day one? idk...i always have different faves...but some current ones are....
Imma Be, Rude BOy, Watchin airplanes, and why don't we just dance?!
:) <3
blogger...i'm gonna try real hard to love you more! :)
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
long time...
i should really consider writing on here more often...consider that thought considered...hmmm...
Friday, April 17, 2009
iSTAND.
MORE devotions for you. actually not for you. for God. :)
So here are our lessons: First, when we know an action is wrong, especially something condemned in God's Word, we should stick to our convictions and avoid it at all cost.
-meehhhh...i suck. I have a particular sin that comes up and haunts me, and i just want it to be gone. Pray for me to stop sinning altogether. I learned in our YMT bible study more about sin and our brokenness, and i have full confidence that God and i can conquer my sins. Read Psalm 51. So friggin good. I am done dishonoring God and being full aware of it. My goal: Make God smile every moment of every day.
Second, we should be aware of our advisors--friends, associates, coworkers, family--who try to lead us astray. What friends and associates tend to urge you to make the wrong choices?
--I know the people i need to stay away from, but sometimes they are like an addiction, and honestly, in my opinion it's not quite alright to avoid a person at all cost, but the actions, yes...avoid away! I have to remember everything I am representing when making my choices, and all that i do needs to be honoring and bring Glory to God. Otherwise I prolly shouldn't do it. Do i still do these things...yup. I need my God. I will work harder.
God's way is always best, even though sometimes we wonder where it is leading. God knows you--your heart and your actions. And he's the only one who really matters. YESSSSSS! :) What goals have you set for your life?
--I don't have a lot of goals. I think they are pretty typical in that I want to get married and have children and raise a happy family. As far as a career goes, I want to do whatever it is God calls me to do...hair? Ministry? Restaurant? Whatever it is God wants me to do, I pray that I can do it with Joy and Rejoice in every moment he gives me. And I guess the main goal I have as an individual is to continue to grow in the Lord, and thrive off of his daily bread. To not be able to live without his word each day. To understand his words and put them into action, even when it's the hardest thing to do...
How do you think you would react if life took an unexpected turn?
--I was just thinking of this today...and I don't really know if you can ever be "ready" for an unexpected turn, or to be broken, but I feel as though I am almost ready to be taken out of my comfort zone, for God to be able to use me and mold me in my brokenness. To take me out of the equation and make it all about Him. Let's say that God were to tell me that marriage and family are not in his plan...then so be it. I really think i would mourn for a while, but the only thing that I need in life is my glorious god, and i will be fully satisfied. I know that in some other way he will fill that void/desire, tenfold. God's will is going to happen in any case, and so I have to accept it for what it is, and move forward keeping my eyes fixed on Jesus and not being distracted or pulled in any other direction. It would be very very hard to accept, but I know I can do all things with Christ who strengthens me.
How would you respond when given the opportunity to get even with someone?
--Sometimes I just want to soooooo badly, but when I think of the consequences, it's not worth it. SOmetimes it's so hard to just swallow my pride and keep my mouth shut. But every time I do, I am thankful, because when I happen to mention something, I immediately regret my decision. Not cool to make ppl feel like crap, even if they have treated you like crap...once, twice, everyday. My grandma always told me to "kill them with kindness" but of course that is sometimes really really hard. I find that praying for the person usually helps most. God knows how to either convict a person for wronging you or bring peace to them for their insecurities better than i could even imagine. "So I say to you who hear me, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you." Luke 6:27-28
Clearly, God has it all under control. :)
SOmetimes we try to cover up one sin by committing another. Remember David? The man after God's own heart? Even he was distracted by Bathsheba. And when he didn't want ppl to find out about his adultery/rape, ended up lying and murdering. not cool. sometimes i get burried in my own lies and i don't even know what the truth is anymore. lying is a bad sin. i am finished with this lying business...it never brings in profit. MOst of the time I am tempted to cover up my sin instead of confess it.
What sinful distraction is pulling you the wrong way? What can you do to make the right, God honoring choice?
--I'll let ya'll dwell on that one. I think I'll confess this to God instead of you, no offense. ;)
It's a beautiful day. This is the day that the Lord has made, we will REJOICE and be GLAD in it! :D
Mood: Thankful
Food: fast.
Music: Maria Mena. Look her up. so good. :)
So here are our lessons: First, when we know an action is wrong, especially something condemned in God's Word, we should stick to our convictions and avoid it at all cost.
-meehhhh...i suck. I have a particular sin that comes up and haunts me, and i just want it to be gone. Pray for me to stop sinning altogether. I learned in our YMT bible study more about sin and our brokenness, and i have full confidence that God and i can conquer my sins. Read Psalm 51. So friggin good. I am done dishonoring God and being full aware of it. My goal: Make God smile every moment of every day.
Second, we should be aware of our advisors--friends, associates, coworkers, family--who try to lead us astray. What friends and associates tend to urge you to make the wrong choices?
--I know the people i need to stay away from, but sometimes they are like an addiction, and honestly, in my opinion it's not quite alright to avoid a person at all cost, but the actions, yes...avoid away! I have to remember everything I am representing when making my choices, and all that i do needs to be honoring and bring Glory to God. Otherwise I prolly shouldn't do it. Do i still do these things...yup. I need my God. I will work harder.
God's way is always best, even though sometimes we wonder where it is leading. God knows you--your heart and your actions. And he's the only one who really matters. YESSSSSS! :) What goals have you set for your life?
--I don't have a lot of goals. I think they are pretty typical in that I want to get married and have children and raise a happy family. As far as a career goes, I want to do whatever it is God calls me to do...hair? Ministry? Restaurant? Whatever it is God wants me to do, I pray that I can do it with Joy and Rejoice in every moment he gives me. And I guess the main goal I have as an individual is to continue to grow in the Lord, and thrive off of his daily bread. To not be able to live without his word each day. To understand his words and put them into action, even when it's the hardest thing to do...
How do you think you would react if life took an unexpected turn?
--I was just thinking of this today...and I don't really know if you can ever be "ready" for an unexpected turn, or to be broken, but I feel as though I am almost ready to be taken out of my comfort zone, for God to be able to use me and mold me in my brokenness. To take me out of the equation and make it all about Him. Let's say that God were to tell me that marriage and family are not in his plan...then so be it. I really think i would mourn for a while, but the only thing that I need in life is my glorious god, and i will be fully satisfied. I know that in some other way he will fill that void/desire, tenfold. God's will is going to happen in any case, and so I have to accept it for what it is, and move forward keeping my eyes fixed on Jesus and not being distracted or pulled in any other direction. It would be very very hard to accept, but I know I can do all things with Christ who strengthens me.
How would you respond when given the opportunity to get even with someone?
--Sometimes I just want to soooooo badly, but when I think of the consequences, it's not worth it. SOmetimes it's so hard to just swallow my pride and keep my mouth shut. But every time I do, I am thankful, because when I happen to mention something, I immediately regret my decision. Not cool to make ppl feel like crap, even if they have treated you like crap...once, twice, everyday. My grandma always told me to "kill them with kindness" but of course that is sometimes really really hard. I find that praying for the person usually helps most. God knows how to either convict a person for wronging you or bring peace to them for their insecurities better than i could even imagine. "So I say to you who hear me, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you." Luke 6:27-28
Clearly, God has it all under control. :)
SOmetimes we try to cover up one sin by committing another. Remember David? The man after God's own heart? Even he was distracted by Bathsheba. And when he didn't want ppl to find out about his adultery/rape, ended up lying and murdering. not cool. sometimes i get burried in my own lies and i don't even know what the truth is anymore. lying is a bad sin. i am finished with this lying business...it never brings in profit. MOst of the time I am tempted to cover up my sin instead of confess it.
What sinful distraction is pulling you the wrong way? What can you do to make the right, God honoring choice?
--I'll let ya'll dwell on that one. I think I'll confess this to God instead of you, no offense. ;)
It's a beautiful day. This is the day that the Lord has made, we will REJOICE and be GLAD in it! :D
Mood: Thankful
Food: fast.
Music: Maria Mena. Look her up. so good. :)
Sunday, April 5, 2009
all you need is LOVE
more devotions for the day. yeah...it's one of those days. i need it. i love it. :)
what will you do when wise counsel conflicts with your plans?
most of the time i just listen and do as they tell me. but it seems like the people i know best with wise counsel are the ones i reject and hurt the most. like my parents. i sometimes still beg to differ with their reasoning for me to do or not do something, but they only want what's best for me, and i really want to be intentional about honoring them, like i said in my last blog. even when dad is telling me over and over to get my oil changed. ha. God's plans seem to always be different than my own plans, but God knows what is best for me, better than i know.
when have you disqualified yourself from being used by God?
i feel like i have just been intimidated by the people around me too many times to count when it comes down to it. like, what will they think of me or what do they already think of me? or just being around really strong personalities or even people who are leaps and bounds beyond me in their faith. i need to not be intimidated and just fulfill my purpose on earth. God wants to use me and i was made to glorify him. i need to remember that it actually breaks my maker's heart to back down from being used. what holds me back? fears and doubts. shackled 2009 much? i think so.
what is God asking you to do that does not seem reasonable or logical?
write a letter. talk to him. walk through the door that God has opened and at least shut it behind me. stop sinning. (so frickin hard)
what will you do when you are forced to rely on your confidence in God to deal with those who mock you and your faith?
i will share my faith and hold firm to what i know and believe. i know that God will be with me and i will pray for those persecuting me.
how can you better rely on the strenth of the LORD Almighty?
ask for help in prayer. set my pride and selfish motives aside and glorify God with my all.
how can you be faithful to God and to your friends at the same time?
if i spend HALF the time with God that i spend with my friends my life would be a whole bunch better. and i love the time i get with my friends, but i need to realize that my relationship with God is the only one that will never fail me. no friend will be perfect, my family will let me down, my husband will wrong me. i can not expect anything more of these people because they are not perfect like my Lord and savior Jesus Christ. In Hebrews it says "i will never leave you or forsake you." as God demonstrates this toward us, we should all take note to be more like this as a friend to our brothers and sisters in Christ. at least i should.
mood: full.
food: oh goodness, please no more!
music: dear prudence. across the universe style.
what will you do when wise counsel conflicts with your plans?
most of the time i just listen and do as they tell me. but it seems like the people i know best with wise counsel are the ones i reject and hurt the most. like my parents. i sometimes still beg to differ with their reasoning for me to do or not do something, but they only want what's best for me, and i really want to be intentional about honoring them, like i said in my last blog. even when dad is telling me over and over to get my oil changed. ha. God's plans seem to always be different than my own plans, but God knows what is best for me, better than i know.
when have you disqualified yourself from being used by God?
i feel like i have just been intimidated by the people around me too many times to count when it comes down to it. like, what will they think of me or what do they already think of me? or just being around really strong personalities or even people who are leaps and bounds beyond me in their faith. i need to not be intimidated and just fulfill my purpose on earth. God wants to use me and i was made to glorify him. i need to remember that it actually breaks my maker's heart to back down from being used. what holds me back? fears and doubts. shackled 2009 much? i think so.
what is God asking you to do that does not seem reasonable or logical?
write a letter. talk to him. walk through the door that God has opened and at least shut it behind me. stop sinning. (so frickin hard)
what will you do when you are forced to rely on your confidence in God to deal with those who mock you and your faith?
i will share my faith and hold firm to what i know and believe. i know that God will be with me and i will pray for those persecuting me.
how can you better rely on the strenth of the LORD Almighty?
ask for help in prayer. set my pride and selfish motives aside and glorify God with my all.
how can you be faithful to God and to your friends at the same time?
if i spend HALF the time with God that i spend with my friends my life would be a whole bunch better. and i love the time i get with my friends, but i need to realize that my relationship with God is the only one that will never fail me. no friend will be perfect, my family will let me down, my husband will wrong me. i can not expect anything more of these people because they are not perfect like my Lord and savior Jesus Christ. In Hebrews it says "i will never leave you or forsake you." as God demonstrates this toward us, we should all take note to be more like this as a friend to our brothers and sisters in Christ. at least i should.
mood: full.
food: oh goodness, please no more!
music: dear prudence. across the universe style.
to my true love...
catching up on life with jesus...
what idols in your life need to be torn down?
marriage/relationships/men/my future, clothes, anything not eternal. God, i so badly want to be all yours. break me and strip me from these things that have no eternal meaning. show me how i can glorify you without these things. your will be done, God...but i'm done. my flesh will desire, but my heart can not. bring me closer to you in prayer, word, and obedience.
in what area of your life do you need to trust God more?
send me a sign (felt on grass)...by gideon you must have meant melissa. ha. seriously self, quit that. and also, quit underestimating the power of God. thanks.
my future. seriously, it's like "who will you spend the rest of your life with and where will you live, and what will you be doing?" not only does my family beat this into my brain, but i do. who cares. god has plans for me and those plans will be fulfilled. plans to prosper. i understand this in my head, but all of the insecurity in the world comes in when it comes to the heart. how come i can't believe that you love me more than anything and want and know what is best for me? help me to trust you with my entire future, God. give me jesus. nobody can take that away from me. ever.
honor thy father and thy mother.
i miss you so much. i am sorry for being a horrible teenager and a whiney child. i'm sorry for not doing the little things when you gave me your everything. thank you for sacrificing your happiness for my happiness. i am going to go out of my way to honor you from now on...for two reasons. 1. my god commands this of me. 2. you deserve the honor.
where will you draw the line between having fun in the present and committing to God's purpose for your life?
this is so hard. i'm 21 and it's legal for me to drink. and i can honestly argue the point of it bringing glory to God, because i have had some of the coolest God conversations with people when drinking. but still, i'm not sure that makes it right or gives me the okay to go out drinking. i guess the line is just going to have to be the motives behind my speech and actions and limitation. idk. like i said this one is hard, because i don't necessarily think it's wrong, but God probably does.
what from your past still haunts you?
how can you release that to God?
rape. pray.
what decision are you hesitant to make because of the possible cost?
talking to someone i love because i don't want to lose them.
where do you sense God is leading you these days?
i don't know...but this inspired me...
"ruth was seeking God's best. it simply means you acknowledge that God knows what's best for you. ruth was willing to trust her entire life to God's leading. are you?"
what future reasons could there be for obeying God today?
we were talking about this in small groups today. every choice you make has much effect on your life, whether you realize it or not. you have the choice to obey and disobey as well. when you obey, often blessings are to follow. for instance, i really felt a calling to the registrar position this past summer. did i want to do it...no! but i knew it was from God, and in that time i learned a lot about myself and some sins i never thought i would struggle with and really dug into God's word and was hungry for him. so many things i needed and got though the hard times.
what drives you to pray more? less?
more- sadly enough it seems like i pray more when things aren't going well, or to ask for something. and more often than not, my prayers are very selfish.
less-when everything's fine. when i'm busy...also sad. dear melissa, how hard is it to make time for God? really?
what attitude will you choose when you have to wait for God's specific directions?
today...not a great one. most days...patiently waiting but intentionally looking for them.
how important are outward appearances to you and your friends?
i would say they are important if i wanted to be honest. i wish i didn't think that. i used to judge the people that look "metal" or "emo" but now i would go ahead and say i judge the "popular" looking people more for a few reasons. 1. it seems like they are the ones causing all of the unhappiness and insecurity because they are always perfectly put together body and clothing. 2. they are the ones who judge the "metal/emo" looking ppl. as far as my friends, i always worry about what they think of me. such as..."hey, fat cow...i mean, melissa. how are you?" i judge myself a lot. bleh. sick.
i'll prolly be back later with more. i need a quick break from this. soakin it all in.
mood: bleh.
food: none.
music: anything taylor swift...seriously? like why don't you write a few more songs about my life...aka white horse, hey steven, i'd lie, invisible, etc. sick taylor. sick.
what idols in your life need to be torn down?
marriage/relationships/men/my future, clothes, anything not eternal. God, i so badly want to be all yours. break me and strip me from these things that have no eternal meaning. show me how i can glorify you without these things. your will be done, God...but i'm done. my flesh will desire, but my heart can not. bring me closer to you in prayer, word, and obedience.
in what area of your life do you need to trust God more?
send me a sign (felt on grass)...by gideon you must have meant melissa. ha. seriously self, quit that. and also, quit underestimating the power of God. thanks.
my future. seriously, it's like "who will you spend the rest of your life with and where will you live, and what will you be doing?" not only does my family beat this into my brain, but i do. who cares. god has plans for me and those plans will be fulfilled. plans to prosper. i understand this in my head, but all of the insecurity in the world comes in when it comes to the heart. how come i can't believe that you love me more than anything and want and know what is best for me? help me to trust you with my entire future, God. give me jesus. nobody can take that away from me. ever.
honor thy father and thy mother.
i miss you so much. i am sorry for being a horrible teenager and a whiney child. i'm sorry for not doing the little things when you gave me your everything. thank you for sacrificing your happiness for my happiness. i am going to go out of my way to honor you from now on...for two reasons. 1. my god commands this of me. 2. you deserve the honor.
where will you draw the line between having fun in the present and committing to God's purpose for your life?
this is so hard. i'm 21 and it's legal for me to drink. and i can honestly argue the point of it bringing glory to God, because i have had some of the coolest God conversations with people when drinking. but still, i'm not sure that makes it right or gives me the okay to go out drinking. i guess the line is just going to have to be the motives behind my speech and actions and limitation. idk. like i said this one is hard, because i don't necessarily think it's wrong, but God probably does.
what from your past still haunts you?
how can you release that to God?
rape. pray.
what decision are you hesitant to make because of the possible cost?
talking to someone i love because i don't want to lose them.
where do you sense God is leading you these days?
i don't know...but this inspired me...
"ruth was seeking God's best. it simply means you acknowledge that God knows what's best for you. ruth was willing to trust her entire life to God's leading. are you?"
what future reasons could there be for obeying God today?
we were talking about this in small groups today. every choice you make has much effect on your life, whether you realize it or not. you have the choice to obey and disobey as well. when you obey, often blessings are to follow. for instance, i really felt a calling to the registrar position this past summer. did i want to do it...no! but i knew it was from God, and in that time i learned a lot about myself and some sins i never thought i would struggle with and really dug into God's word and was hungry for him. so many things i needed and got though the hard times.
what drives you to pray more? less?
more- sadly enough it seems like i pray more when things aren't going well, or to ask for something. and more often than not, my prayers are very selfish.
less-when everything's fine. when i'm busy...also sad. dear melissa, how hard is it to make time for God? really?
what attitude will you choose when you have to wait for God's specific directions?
today...not a great one. most days...patiently waiting but intentionally looking for them.
how important are outward appearances to you and your friends?
i would say they are important if i wanted to be honest. i wish i didn't think that. i used to judge the people that look "metal" or "emo" but now i would go ahead and say i judge the "popular" looking people more for a few reasons. 1. it seems like they are the ones causing all of the unhappiness and insecurity because they are always perfectly put together body and clothing. 2. they are the ones who judge the "metal/emo" looking ppl. as far as my friends, i always worry about what they think of me. such as..."hey, fat cow...i mean, melissa. how are you?" i judge myself a lot. bleh. sick.
i'll prolly be back later with more. i need a quick break from this. soakin it all in.
mood: bleh.
food: none.
music: anything taylor swift...seriously? like why don't you write a few more songs about my life...aka white horse, hey steven, i'd lie, invisible, etc. sick taylor. sick.
I'd lie...
huh...that was interesting. i just have to talk to him. it's so much easier said than done though. bleh. really? like, should i have to feel like this? it's been almost a year and here i am still praying for a miracle. does he even know? how can he not, honestly??? why must i like him so much? really, just get over it already, self! jeesh. this is the kicker...i have NO idea what he's thinking...what if? ya know? like what if it's actually something and i'm not imagining things? what if he's thinking about himself what i'm thinking about myself? doubtful i suppose. but still. i understand you are into this new girl...which honestly, i think it's cool. sort of. i mean, i am so happy that you are excited about something. but how can i not wish it was me though. most likely i'm taking all of this the wrong way, but bleh, who cares. i guess i'll just keep wishing and waiting. only time will tell.
and we didn't get a picture together...again. figures.
mood: pessimistic
food: butterfinger easter egg chocolates
music: "and if you asked me if i loved him, i'd lie."
and we didn't get a picture together...again. figures.
mood: pessimistic
food: butterfinger easter egg chocolates
music: "and if you asked me if i loved him, i'd lie."
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